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How?

Listen to this audio and learn how!

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As responsible adults, parents need to set good examples every day although they face various challenges themselves.

Some parents feel that their children need to be able to feel the disappointment because of their own wrong choices. This is so that they will self correct next time. This is actually a form of 'positive' punishment. Parents enforcing a 'positive' punishment will not try to correct their children's faults.

Children need 'positive' encouragements when they make progress in their learning process. Supportive parents know that this will help their children to be optismis.

Positive inputs does not spoil a child. It helps the child to grow well physically, mentally and spiritually.

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Children misbehave because of many reasons. As parents, you have to deal with these misbehaves daily.

Some suggestions are:

- Ensure that the child has enough sleep.

- Ensure that the child has nutritious meals.

- Allow the child to be involve in daily activities with you. Child just want to be with their parents.

- Allow your child to have his own playtime.

- Encourage positive behaviors by establishing constructive rules. 'No' means no and 'yes' means yes.

- Always practice what you preach. Remember that children are great observers.

- Encourage the child to adopt a hobby. Reading or collecting small toys can be good hobbies.

Whatever the reasons a child has to misbehave, parents ought to look for ways to counteract positively. Tell or remind the child/children what you expect from them.

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- feeling

- need

- want

- health

Try to understand the possible underlying causes of misbehavior can always provide parents with clues on how to handle each situation. Remember that young children do not have a rich vocabulary bank to describe their needs!

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when teaching children about honesty.

Children observe closely what their parents do!

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They need your love and understanding

to forget all unhappiness!

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All they want is an acceptance of who they are.

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is not enough;

They need your attention and guidance too!

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Young children have the fear that their parents will leave them. So, parents need to assure them that they are always around. Spend the day with them if necessary. Introduce them to their teachers or caretakers. Help them to get familiarize with the place. share with them the new experience.

Do not leave your child alone under the care of others, not even a trusted relative on the first few days. Unless your child is familiarized with the new surrounding, you will need to be there.This is so to give your child the emotional support he needs.

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Children love 'heroes'. In fact, every child has his very own 'hero'. The 'hero' may change as a child grows, however, the admiration for someone is still there. Parents always complain their children never look up to them as the heroes. Yet, what did the parents do while their children were growing up?

Here are some simple tips from a parent:

1.  Set good examples

All children are great observers. They observe and learn from the people around them especially their parents and siblings. They do not choose and pick in this learning process.

Their innocent minds are always learning and growing. As adults, you know what is right and wrong, but as children, they do not. As their parents and guardians, you have the right to be ‘good’ and ‘living’ examples.

2.  Actions speak the loudest

When you promise your children something, fulfill the promise as soon as possible. Do not think just because they are children, they would not remember what you have said yesterday.

Children have good memories. They can remember what you have said some time ago, when you have long forgotten it. They can be mischievous too. They know their parents’ weakness more than anyone else. They use the weakness to get the attention for themselves.

When you have promised your children to do something for them or with them, get it done. You do not want to live with the guilt of lying to your children. Be what you want your children to follow. When they saw you have fulfilled your promises, they remember it for life.

3.  Cut out swearing words from your vocabulary.

Some parents revealed that they could not help themselves. They have lived with the 'swearing' words all their lives.

Children learn fast. They never stop to ask if the words are acceptable or not. By the time you realized it, your children may have been reprimanded many times in school.

A hero never swears. If you feel the need to, replace the swearing words with something else …… count one to ten or take a few deep breaths.

4.  Spend quality time with family

Children grow up very fast. However, they do not forget fast enough. They will always wonder why you are so busy all the time.

When you just spend an hour a day with them, those hours in their growing years are the most precious in their lives. You do not have to buy any expensive toys or clothes for them. They just need your quality time and undivided attention.

Do something with them. Watch a television program, read a short story together, carpentering, gardening, etc. Some parents even start a hobby with their children.

These are simple actions that are precious to them.

5.  Avoid gambling

Parents who gamble find their children follow their footsteps soon enough. At first, the children just want to know why their parents like gambling. Then when the excitement sets in, they are already heavy gamblers.

Gambling destroys. When possible, point this out to your children. If you are a gambler, stop now when you can. Your children will learn from you when to stop before it is too late.

6.  Avoid gossiping and complaining in front of your children

Parents do not really mind complaining and gossiping in front of their children! However, children are good duplicators. They just repeat what they heard even if they do not know the meaning of the what was said.

You will find it embarrassing if your children repeat what you said about your neighbors to them! Do not blame your children for their innocence. Blame yourself for not being careful.

7.  Instill in them the good values you have learned

You have the responsible to pass on the good values to your children. You have the right to do so because you want them to grow up to be responsible people. Remember, your children carry on your name and bloodline. It is good that they know the difference between black and white and gray while they are young.

8.  Teach them about love and kindness 

Young children do not know what is love and kindness. Unless you explain and show them the actions, they will never know. That is why you have to be the first and always sets good examples at home.

9. Praise your children for their little achievements

Parents should always praise their children, even if the achievement is too small to be noticed. To a child, that is encouragement. It will help to build their confidence and good attitude. However, do not overdo it.

10. Reprimand your children when they do wrong

Some parents think reprimanding their children will make them unpopular. This is very wrong. Children who muddled up ought to be reprimanded immediately. If not, the confusion will grow with them. They will blame you for not telling them off when they were young.

Children are like seedlings. They need to be showered by attention, love, values and many good things. They cannot get them anywhere else except from you, their parents. So, do something about it, heroes!

When they grow into strong plants, you are truly their ‘hero’.

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Every child is a natural achiever. Children learn fast and absorb new knowledge hungrily. Unless there are problems, every child usually excels in academic and sports.

You don’t have to be quick to give up hopes on your child. There are many reasons behind a child’s ‘underachieving’.  You must find out fast before the reasons become disease. Some of the pointers are: 

1.     Your child does not seem to be interested in doing his homework.

He/She complains that the teacher does not explain the topic clearly. Your child may shove the responsibility away to someone else easily. Find out from the teachers if your child has not been paying attention in class. Look into the distractions yourself.

2.     Your child may have eyesight problem.

Some children have severe eyesight problem when they are young. Get an appointment with the optometrist as soon as possible. Get to the root of the problem. Follow the advice of the professional. Children like to complain, but they rarely tell their parents about their conditions. 

3.     Your child does not sleep well at night.

This can cause him/her to be sleepy during lessons. Avoid watching television programs on weekdays' night. You can put up a schedule to help your child to choose the programs to watch. Avoid heavy supper before bedtime as your child would find it difficult to sleep with a full stomach.

4.     Your child does not have breakfast before going to school.

This makes the child sleepy and less attentive in class. Some children just dislike breakfast. However, make it a habit to have breakfast together with your child. A filled stomach helps a child to be attentive during lessons.

5.     Lack of exercise can cause a child to be tired easily.

The child will not be paying attention during lessons. Obesity sets in when a child eats too much and not moving around much at all. At certain times, this child may even feign illness so that he/she does not have to go to school.

6.     Your child does not have time to do homework and revision due to the tight schedule you have arranged everyday.

You have your child attend two or three different tuition classes every day. Your child will be tired by the time he/she reaches home. Some children like to take their own sweet time to do their work. So, there would not be enough time to finish his/her school homework. Your child will not enlighten you with this problem. You have to find out the hard way.

7.     Your child is dependent on you or the private home tutor.

The child finds it difficult to complete his school homework without guidance. You have to be firm sometimes to make your child to do things alone. You must not offer too much help until the learning process becomes a spoon-feeding process.

8.     Your child is under some kind of stress.

As parents, you have a right to be critical of your child's progress in school. Remember that, although your child wants to please you, the stress you have inevitably put on your child can make him/her terrify of school and studies. If you need to have a professional opinion, please do so discreetly. Your child does not need the extra and unwanted attention from others.

9.     You have stayed away from your child's emotional need.

Your good intention of allowing your child the complete freedom of doing and learning things may not be proper at this time. Your child is not 'learning ready' yet. As your child has been spoon-fed all the while, it is difficult for him/her to be independent all of a sudden. 

10.         Your child has befriended those who care least about school.

Although you cannot be with your child all the time, you should be on the alert who your child’s friends are. Invite them home for a gathering to know them. Be observant and give gentle and useful advice to your child. Do not disgrace his/her friends openly. Encourage your child and his/her friends to do homework together in your own home. This way you can make sure they are all learning something.

11.      Do not emphasis only on the grades.

Parents are always afraid that their children will obtain poor grades in school. They emphasis too much in the grades their children will obtain in each and every test and examination.  Children with such weight on their shoulders will carry the fear of failure in them too. They will either try hard or do not want to try at all. 

12.      Unhappy experience at home.

Quarreling parents can easily distract children from their studies. Children do have the fear that something bad will happen at home. Unless parents know how to handle the situation, the children will suffer.

13.    Time to adjust to new surrounding.

Children always find it difficult to adjust to new surrounding in a short time. If you have just moved to another area, give your children some time to familiarize with the place and people. Sensitive children will need a longer period. They will need to go through the process of readjusting their emotions towards the new people they meet and the place they live. 

14.                 Be clear that your child has a problem.

Sometimes children just want some attention from their parents. How else to get it but by obtaining low grades in school? They are playing with your emotion. Spend more time with your child. Do things together. Let your child feels your love and presence.

Whatever the reasons maybe, you need to solve the problem as soon as possible. Do not blame others for your child's problems. Certain problems can be solved easily if you put in some effort and attention. Always discuss with your child before making a decision. Do not assume anything just because someone else you trust says so

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their children;

TRUST 

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Every special child is unique! 

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Do not let this to happen. Children like to copy what the people around them do. As they spend most of their time at home, they will observe and copy what their parents do. They will reproduce what they hear and see in games they play among themselves.

Since you want your children to be interested in learning, you have to create ways to actively include learning in your profession and everyday life. Do not stop learning.

When your children see you actively learning something new, they will want to learn with you. This will be a great chance to lead by example.

As you include learning in your profession, you dramatically increase your career advancement opportunities. This will increase your professional fulfillment that will in a way benefit your children and you yourself.

Your children will be able to see that learning continuously is reaping in great returns. You get to spend more time with them as well as advancing into your profession. That is something your children will be proud of all the time.

Even those small common items in everyday life can be great subject to learn together. Get yourself connected to the internet or buy a set of encyclopedia. Look up for their information together. You will be surprised how much you will gain from the information.

Write your notes on papers. You will get your children to write with you eagerly too. At a younger age, they may think holding a pencil and sketching on it is fun. However, as they grow older, writing will be one of the ways they express themselves.

Get your children to keep a diary. Encourage them by doing so yourself. There are many things you can do together with your children that promote learning.

Soon, you will be able to see the result. Your children will be interested in learning themselves without your prompts.

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You don't have to worry that they will forget you when they grow up.

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his parents never give up on him!

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Every parent has different ideas of the dangers that their children will meet everyday. No matter what those dangers are, it is always advisable to prepare your children early. Children naturally trust other people easily, especially friendly adults. Parents may find it difficult to explain to their children how to exercise caution with these people.

Here are some basic guidelines on how to help your young children to protect themselves.

• Teach names of parents and siblings

This is a task all parents must teach their children since young. Children must not only know their own names, they must also know their parents’ and siblings’ names. If you are living in a multi-lingual community, make sure your children know your name in different languages. (Every language has different pronunciation of the same name.)

• Know home address and telephone number

It is good to drill your children their house address and telephone number at an early age. If possible, write the information down in a small card and remind your children to keep it safely. Drill your children a few times a day.

• Know the emergency and personal numbers

Teach them the emergency numbers in your area. Write the numbers down if needed and drill your children every now and then. Also include some personal numbers your children can call during emergencies. Tell you children that they are welcome to call at any time.

• Have a few channels of communication

It is advisable to practice making calls with a make-believe telephone or a mobile telephone. Since your children can remember correctly the home and your personal numbers, let them call you once a while as a practice. Make sure your children’s mobile telephones are active and fully charged so that they can make calls during emergencies.

Teach your children to use a public telephone. Then, buy some public telephone cards with credits for them. This may be another emergency gesture, just in case your children have forgotten their mobile phones at home.

Some parents equip their very young children with simple ‘push to talk’ mobile phones. Although these gadgets cannot be used to make calls, parents may find it useful as young children can use it easily. Parents can rest assured their children are safe.

• Set up some rules at home

Setting rules at home can help to discipline your children. At first, they may find the rules restricting. Explain to them why such a rule is made. Children choose reasoning first before accepting. Once you have explained to them, they will accept the rules easily.

Include also certain rules of answering the telephone. Tell them not to give out the address of their house, home telephone number or their own names.

• Never accept gifts or lifts

You can start by telling stories of how smart children take care of themselves. Remind them all the time not to accept gifts or lifts from strangers or people they do not know well. Some children may not think twice accepting gifts or foods because they are just too young to do so. So, it is always good to remind them the danger doing so.

• Be notified of their whereabouts

Remind your children to notify you their whereabouts. Even if they are playing in the garden, they ought to inform you first. This will itself become a habit to your children. Do not let your children out of your house compound without your permission. Always lock the front gate.

For older children, always remind them to inform you of their whereabouts if they have mobile phones. If you are not available; then, remind them to inform a close relative or neighbor before going out.

Always be punctual to fetch your children from school or tuition centers. Do let them wait too long. If you are late, give them a call first and remind them to wait for you only. Also remind them to wait for you at a bright spot or with a group of friends.

Remind their school teachers to call you if your children are absent without reasons. Have their teachers to watch out for their behaviors too.

• Talk to your children about abduction

To most parents, this is not a topic to discuss with their children. However, children have a right to know as their safety is at stake here. Tell in a gentle way and have them come up with ideas what to do facing such danger. Most children who were abducted had no exposure of such occurrence.

For course, your children will have all sorts of heroic ideas to get out of the situation. Always warn them of the dangers they would face. Let them know that they are no child-heroes like the ones they saw in movies.

• Talk to your children about sexual abuse

Another topic which most parents find difficult to talk to their children. Tell your children gently that nobody is allowed to touch them in any way that makes them uncomfortable. Remind them it is all right to run away or fight back if that occurs. Remind them to tell what happen to a trusted adult immediately.

Tell your children they have rights to refuse any request from strangers they do not know. Teach them to decline politely and run away swiftly.

• Ask for help from policemen or security guards

If anything happen in a shop, tell your children to run and get help from the shopkeeper or sale persons in charge. Tell them to get help from a policeman on duty or security guards if they see one.

• Teach them to scream, shout and run

Parents want their children to be quiet and nice all the time. Yet, when in danger, facing with strangers, they all want their children to scream and shout for help. So, let your children be noisy.

Noisy children are more active and react faster during emergencies. They can run far and do lots of counter attacks such as kicking and biting when needed. Allow your children to take part in sports and games, this will help to make them strong and able to fight back should there be troubles.

• Lock all doors and windows

When it is late in the evening, remember to make sure you lock the doors and windows. This is a good example your children will follow. Always lock the front gate. If possible equip your house with a security camera and alarm to avoid unwanted intruders.

• Playing with friends

Encourage your children to make friends in school. Teach them how to share and treat their friends well. This is a way to have friends to help your children if they have trouble. When they need to go anywhere, remind your children to walk in a group.

Abductors are wary when they see a group of children together. They may find it quite difficult to grab a child without getting the attention of other children and people around them.

• Listen to your children

Listen to your children when they are telling you their feelings about people and places. Do not criticize them for expressing the fear. Teach them to trust their instincts. Let your children know that you are always around for them.

Some children will tend to exaggerate to get attention. This will be the time you ask more questions. Reprimand your children gently when the truth is found out. However, always show your support by listening to them.

• Be attentive at public places

Teach your children to be attentive at public places. Get the older children to look after the younger ones when you are busy shopping. Warn your children not to walk alone. Allow your older children to carry their mobile phones with them. It makes things easier should you suddenly lose sight of them.

Some parents make their older children carry small sharp objects to protect themselves. This is a good move too. However remind them not to scratch any public objects or you will be in trouble.

• Take note of children’s distinctive features

Every child has his or her own distinctive features. They may come as moles or shape of their faces or even birthmarks on their bodies. Take special note of that. If possible, take their individual pictures yourself. If something happens, these photographs can be a great help.

You can buy a finger-printing tool to print your children’s finger prints. You can make an activity out it. Keep your children’s finger prints easily accessible at home.

• Be alert to change of behavior

Children with emotional problems are usually withdrawn and secretive. Be attentive for these sudden changes shown in your children. Talk to them. They need your emotional support more than anything else. Find out the root of the problems. Ask questions, but do not force the child to say anything he or she does not want.

Be alert why your child or children show unexplained hostility towards a friend, relative and baby sitter. Children are generally friendly, unless they are disturbed emotionally.

• Going online

Do not encourage your children to spend time online without your permission. In fact, lock your PC with a secret password or a few passwords.

Do not allow your children to chat with their friends through chat-rooms with your supervision. Never allow your children to parade in front of the web-cams for your friends or families. The possibility of your PC being spied is great.

So whatever you do, you know you are protecting your children. You are not being protective, just be careful. Your children are more important than other treasures you have. Remember, they are just a loan from God!

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Well, you are right when:

v    You decide to enroll your children in the best school in town

Most parents believe that their children deserve the best. That is why you choose the best schools. You believe that your children will get better education there. You believe they will befriend children from good families. You also have confidence in the educators in the school.

      You are right here. Good schools produce good pupils; and eventually responsible citizens of the country.  There are many good schools around. If not, and when you can afford it, a private school is a good option too.

v    You decide your children should learn only what is important

In most cases, you are right. Children have very short attention span. It is good to keep them focus all the time. They need to learn a lot of things in such a short time. So, as any loving parent, you decide for them.

Your children will be grateful to you for they do not know what is good or bad when they are young. You have been through, so, you know better. You believe that besides school, your children will need to attend some creative and skill classes.

v    You always believe that your own children are better

Children like the fact that their parents are always proud of them. You boost their confidence when you show your support for them. You tell your children how proud you are of them.

Of course, you do not compare your own children to others openly. Yet, you do and will not hide your pride when your children did something to make you proud.

v    You are strict with your children

You know instilling discipline in children takes a lot of time and patience. That is why you are strict with them. A ‘yes’ is always a ‘yes’ and there is no ‘other wise’. You develop special time tables for them so that they do not have time to be ‘lazy’.

Your children will know you mean business. Although they may find you not ‘so friendly’ at all times, they grow to be disciplined and much better persons. Many times, you have to sacrifice for their sake.

v    You voice your expectations to them 

Your children will not know what you expect from them unless you tell them. You will be surprised to see that they are keen to show you their capabilities too! You know they have tried their best even though they have accomplished below your expectation.

      When children know their parents’ expectations, they seldom have reasons not to achieve. They may not want to do what you want, yet, they will be happy when they receive the attention later.              

v    You decide to allow your children a break

All work and no play is not going to make a child another ‘genius’. You decide to take them to the coming funfair or a movie as a treat for their hard work. Bravo! You are on the right track.

Children need ‘encouragement in action’ and not just some mouth praises. They want to be able to feel your involvement in their lives too. Taking them somewhere for a change will definitely help them to enjoy being your children.

v    You want your children to achieve their own dreams

Most parents aspire to see their children to be successful in one way or another. You are the kind of parent who believes your children will be successful with little help from you.

      You give them your moral support as well as love wherever they are. You encourage them to stand again when they fall. You may need to nudge your children sometimes but they will make it.

v    You sacrifice some of your social time to be with your children

Children grow up fast. Soon, they are embarrassed to be seen with their parents. It is so ‘not cool’ to their peers. You know that, right?

So, you make up more time by sacrificing your social time with your friends or special groups when they are young.

       You stay at home to be with them and do things with them. You know your sacrifices will eventually pay back. Children learn best during the first few years of their live. Their best teachers are their own parents.   

So, you see, you have made some right decisions. You know you are in the right track; your children will be all right. You also know that your children will be grateful to you for making all these decisions for them!

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Research tells us that children take time to develop their knowledge, attitude and skills. Let us explore why children are afraid of learning. One of the reasons is; children always feel they are learning everything on their own. They feel lonely in the process of learning. They feel they do not have the freedom to do things they like.

Maybe it is time you as a parent do something to help your children.

        Here are some tips to help you to get your children to develop a healthy respect for learning.

-         Surround your children with people who love learning. Encourage them to join some creative classes in your neighborhood. You may also go shopping around for a good tuition centre where the learners really achieve in what they are taught.

-         Invite some friends who are skilled in diverse fields to give a talk. Ask your children to invite their friends too. After that, have a practical session where the children will learn hands-on a new skill.

-         Ask your children to invite their friends over to read some books together. Not every child likes this. However, when your children posses some good books, the invite is hard to resist.

-         Be creative whenever you assign tasks to your children. Let them come up with the solutions themselves. If your children give up too soon, encourage them to go on. The process of learning includes exploring together. Do not let your children give up midway.

-         Do not lecture or reprimand your children repeatedly for a job they did not do well. Just remind them your expectation. Repeated lectures will discourage their learning spirits.

-         Do not remind your children of the sacrifices you have made for them. They will know in time. Telling them this will make your children feel that they are learning for your sake instead of theirs.

-         Stop complaining about your work especially in front of your children. They will lose the respect for learning because you have imbedded in their minds that the dead end of learning is work.

-         Give your children the freedom to gather information. If you think they are still young, then be there to guide them. Learn with them. You are also helping yourself at the same time.

-         Encourage your children to have a hobby. Parents have the wrong perception that hobbies are a waste of time. The truth is every learning process starts with a hobby. 

Unlike adults, children need more time to absorb what they have learnt. You need to be patient. Instill in them a respect for learning at a young age and you will have little worry as they grow up.     

 http://www.freewebs.com/fren123

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